Remember When……

Week 28 of Amy Johnson Crow’s 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Reunions

          I grew up having family reunions on my father’s side of the family every summer, but as I got older, they seemed to fade away. Family members grew apart and went about their on lives leaving behind the timeless traditions. As the years passed, cousins lost contact with one another. Although each may think back on those memories from time to time, the next generation does not have the same priceless connections to the past. Memories soon fade and families are separated by time and space.

     As I grow older, I realize just how important those reunions were and how important family is to me. I remember the anticipation of getting ready to go to a reunion. Mom was busy in the kitchen making fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, and usually some type of dessert. Upon arrival, there was always that one great aunt who, every year said, “I haven’t seen you since you were this big” and brings her hand down to about half your size (even though you just saw her at the reunion the year before). It was always the same familiar things year after year; eating good food, the grown-ups playing dominos and catching up with the latest family news, the kids going outside to toss the football around or play hide-and-go-seek.  

     Oh, how I would love to travel back in time to be a part of that again. Times were simpler than they are now. I think that’s what I miss the most, the simplicity of the day and time.

     It seems that now days most people have such busy lives that they don’t take the time and effort into creating these special memories. Whether it’s caused by over-commitment or disinterest, family reunions have taken a back seat, but I have devised another way to keep our family memories alive and to hopefully bring back that family camaraderie. Since so many things today revolve around the internet, I decided to use that as a tool to benefit my objective and therefore, created a family Facebook group to serve as an ongoing family reunion of sorts.

     It all started when I was trying to locate a picture of my great-great grandmother. I had never seen a picture of her, but I knew one had to exist since she did not pass away until 1940. I began asking my close family if they had a picture of her or if they had ever seen one. My queries were met with negative results. I then began to branch out onto other branches of the family tree. I went back to the great – great grandmother in question and started working on a descendant chart listing every child, grandchild and so on. I did several obituary lookups so that I could have a listing of surviving family. Then I began the process of trying to locate living family members. I found myself growing giddy each time I was able to contact a cousin and when they responded with enthusiasm that I had contacted them. I eventually found a cousin who had the prized photograph and I was able to share it with all the others that I had previously contacted. They were all thrilled to say the least.

     This is my sweet little great-great grandmother, Ann Elizabeth Coker Widener (pictured far left) with her family. This picture was a bonus for me since it also included my great-grandmother, Arrelsy Ann, pictured third from left. I also loved seeing a photo of her siblings that I had never seen before.

     My newly found cousin began sending more pictures that I had never seen before and I was thrilled beyond my own imaginings. She sent this precious picture of my grandfather; I was wild with delight and immediately shared it with my family.     Another cousin sent me a picture of my great-grandfather that I had never seen before either and had never seen such a young picture of him.

      Among the photographs she sent was of a family reunion from August 5, 1962 (pictured at the top of the page).  This was before my time but had many people pictured that I knew, including my dad when he was about 16 years old. There were many faces that I didn’t know however, so I needed to recruit help. I started our Stafford Family Facebook Group using the reunion picture as the cover photo. I added all the cousins that I had found thus far as well as my aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters and all other close family members. In order to identify each person in the group, I decided to put a number on each person so that it would be easy to keep up with.  Using the software I had (Microsoft Digital Image Suite), I began the project.

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     The post was created and tagged as an announcement so that it would remain at the top of the page whenever anyone viewed it. I numbered 1-64 and began putting names beside the ones I knew for certain. Then by asking each member to identify who they knew; we were able to put a name to all but four of the faces. Those four are still a mystery, but maybe in time they will also have a name.

     In the meantime, we have filled the page with memories of past family get-togethers. I’ve enjoyed all the stories different ones have shared and will treasure having this time together if only through the internet. Perhaps one day this little family Facebook group will decide to have a real-life family reunion and if or when they do, I know that I will be there. I love my family and I treasure every moment spent with them, one way or another.

Shared Memories

“We played in the barn loft. I remember jumping from loft down to a feeding trough that had hay in it. We also played hide and seek in the loft, hiding behind bales of hay. We played red rover. We played outside all day. Grandma cooked big dinners every Sunday. We had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, Mac and cheese, pies, cobblers and much more.” Barbara Stafford Hendrick

“Grandma loved to cook and make pork skins outside after the big black pot was on fire. Whenever papa killed a hog, he cut up the skins and cooked it in boiling water in the big black pot outside over fire, and then fried it. That’s pork skins !!” Kay Glover

“She [grandma] was always so happy and excited when out of town family came to visit. She would be in that kitchen cooking up a storm. I remember when Aunt Johnnie and Aunt Mary came, it made her so happy. Most of the rest were weekly visitors every Sunday, so lot of cooking going on there too. Thinking back, she was in kitchen most of time but she loved all that family there. That is some of the best times of my life. Sunday playing with cousins.” Carolyn Stafford Wiley

“ I remember going to visit and Grandma would have cakes and pies sitting in the back room covered with cloths. I loved that. Also one time we came and the road to the house was muddy so either grandpa or Lewis came to get us in the tractor. Thought that was a great adventure. Then chasing guineas across the field. What fun! Sad we didn’t get to go more. Back then it was a long way!” Neta Dellinger Johnson

“We stayed the summers with her [Arrelsy Widener Stafford] after they moved.  Her hair was really long, and I would brush it for hours.” Denise Stafford

“I remember one time when Daddy and Papa [Louis Oliver Stafford] were going to kill a hog. I don’t remember Jimmy’s exact age, but young and he wanted to watch. He said “Papa is meanest man I know. He not only shot the hog in the head, but he cut his throat.” He was much braver than me. I never did watch that, but certainly enjoyed the ham and bacon.” Carolyn Stafford Wiley

“ I remember sometimes when grandpa [Louis Oliver Stafford] wanted to have chicken for dinner, he would pick out the one he wanted, then he would show it to me and Danny and give us a .22 rifle and one bullet, we had to shoot the chicken in the head so as not to mess up any of the meat. We only had one bullet so we would trail the chicken around the barnyard until we had it in just the right spot and was close enough that we felt we couldn’t miss and then we would shoot. We usually did pretty good. Before, we would just chase them until they got so tired they would just stop and we would pick them up, this worked but made the chicken very tough after it was cooked.” Jimmy Lewis Stafford, Sr.

“I remember that when I was in about the fifth grade, I stayed home from school quite a bit to help daddy [Lewis Albert Stafford] on the farm. My teacher didn’t mind really because everyone did that then. Times were hard. Also I remember when I was little, I used to like to sit on the tractor tire and pretend it was a horse. And I rode on back of the tractor with Daddy when he would be plowing and he’d talk to me a lot, teasing and stuff. He would start calling me “Albert Flinheart”. Boy that made me so mad that I’d climb right down and go to the house” Danny Wayne Stafford

 “We used to spend a lot of time at Grandma and PaPaw Stafford’s. Grandma would sometimes sit around and tell us stories. We spent a lot of time crocheting and sewing together pieces for quilt tops. A lot of times on Sundays there would be a lot of company and we would always go to grandma and papaw’s house. There would be a lot of kids and we played all day long. Papaw had nicknames for us all, he called me Sapphire, Carolyn was Chick-a-dee, Jimmy was Jimmy Crack Corn and Danny was Danny Boy. I remember Papaw always chewing gum. We would sit on his lap and he would talk to us and tell us stories.” Barbara Stafford Hendrick

“I really appreciate my parents now. When you are young you really take everything for granted. We always had a good life and had everything we ever needed or wanted. I was grown with a family of my own before I really appreciated what it took for my parents to give us the life we had” Carolyn Stafford Wiley

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[i] 1. Mary Ann Stafford Sims

2. Ruth Denise Stafford

3. Karen Lemon

4. Marsha Stafford

5. Richard Michael (Mike) Akin

6. Cindy Rappe Burt

7. Linda Rappe Steininger

8. Sharon Stafford

9. Mary Elaine Akin Stafford

10. Neta Dellinger Johnson

11. Diane Kelly

12. Jr Kelly

13. Jimmy Lewis Stafford

14. Unknown

15. Brenda Sue Stafford Sharp

16. Bonnie Beth Stafford McMinn

17. Steve McMinn (Bonnie’s son)

18. Paul Langford Stafford

19. Howard Wooten Stafford

20. Mary Ellen Stafford Akin

21. Ruth Camile Stafford Geddie

22. KayLynn Stafford Glover

23. Robbie Nelda Dellinger

24. Mitchell Lemon

25. Richard Glover

26. Denise Glover Boles

27. Ersa Kelley, Jr.

28. Mary Jane Kelley

29. Janie Kelley Joiner

30. Unknown

31. Craig Lemon

32. Louis Oliver Stafford

33. Arrelsy Ann Widener Stafford

34. Agnes Arlington Stafford Kelly

35. Royce Oliver Stafford

36. Lois Ann Stafford Maxwell

37. Travis Robert “Bob” Stafford

38. Laura Lou Glover

39. Johnnie Nelda Stafford Dellinger

40. Doris Elaine Hawkins Stafford

41. Carolyn Ann Stafford Wiley

42. Barbara June Stafford Hendrick

43. Bobby Roy Stafford

44. Ronald Wiley

45. Evelyn Parten Stafford

46. Donnie Louise Jacobs Widener

47. Marie Elaine Johnson Kelley

48. Travis Widener’s 2nd wife Anne

49. Travis Widener

50. Susie Rappe Holder

51. Willie Mae Kelley Rappe

52. Mary Lou Murphy Stafford

53. Leona Stafford

54. Kitty Stafford

55. Richard Stafford

56. Unknown

57. Unknown

58. Milton Pratt Stafford

59. Ersa Kelley, Sr.

60. Jim Rappe

61. Dick Akin

62. Lloyd Kelley

63. Robert Dellinger

64. Travis Forrester Widener